This is a well-known passage about how to deal with misbehaving people. It has not always been helpfully applied. Perhaps it is good to note several points which are less than certain, and then to take hold of one which is true for ever. 

It is not quite clear whom the Lord means by ‘brother’, but it’s not everyone. This teaching is not a general prescription for exercising disapproval. However, the words do seem applicable, for example, to family members and to brothers and sisters in Christ. The lesson then may be that we can only presume to correct others once we have established a trusting relationship. Openness is another clear principle here – and that takes courage as well as humility. It is worth noting that this paragraph is sandwiched between two passages where forgiveness is a key, and the onus is not only upon the most obvious wrongdoer. None of us can presume to deserve better than the pagan and the tax collector (v 17). 

When differences occur between you and a fellow believer, what do you do?

Reconciliation is very important, Jesus says, as he recognises that differences will occur between believers. All-important is how these differences are dealt with, so he outlines some key principles, while allowing that, sadly, restoration of fellowship may not always be possible. Holding discipline and grace in tension is not easy, but Jesus calls his church to practise tough love.

The notion of going directly to a believer who has offended you was similar to Jewish teaching at that time. The key aim is that the offender should respond properly. Yet if this initial meeting is not successful, then it is necessary to gather evidence carefully in case later evidence is needed of what happened. Synagogues often evaluated local disputes and Christians transferred this function to the local church.¹ The requirement of two witnesses fulfils the command of Deuteronomy² and remained the procedure among first-century believers.³ However, if the offender still will not acknowledge they are in the wrong, then the Christian community should be made aware of the offence and then disassociate itself from that person. 

The phrase ‘a pagan or a tax collector’ (v 17), suggests a hope that, despite the barrier at that time, there remains a possibility of forgiveness and a new start, as there was with Jesus’ relationship with such people. Matthew probably remembered that, because he had been a tax collector. So care and a loving attitude should go hand in hand with such discipline. Paul’s aim was also restoration.⁴ This is all very challenging, but Jesus promises his blessing on action properly taken to try to reconcile believers to one another (v 20 – a verse that sadly is often taken out of context). 

Applying these verses appropriately needs a local church that is marked by trust and integrity, as well as love for one another. Is your church like this?

¹ 1 Cor 5:4,5; 6:1–5  ² Deut 19:15  ³ 2 Cor 13:1,2; 1 Tim 5:19,20  ⁴ 1 Cor 5:5